he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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