Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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