He had one of those small greek statue penises
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
