i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
