How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
