I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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