After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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