I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
