Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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