I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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