Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
