dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
