If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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