His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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