I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
