32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
