White coat. Heels.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
