She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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