yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
