you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
