i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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