Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
