It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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