My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize