Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
