Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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