if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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