Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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