i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
