Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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