oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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