it wasn't lemon gatorade
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ttyl tear gas
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
