i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
