what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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