dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
