I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
