he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
