never play flip cup with pint glasses
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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