If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
