Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
