I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
