Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
