ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
