theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
