remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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