Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
