I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
