All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
