For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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