Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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