he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
