yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
